I wish that they didn’t care

Why wont people just leave me be,

Why won’t they leave me with my misery,

And to let me mope inside of me,

And let me loose my own fight,

They won’t let me fly on my own flight,

I want to loose myself in a single day,

I want to die in a single way,

Whether to OD or die in my sleep,

The lies are mine,

And mine to keep.

The secrets are welled up inside,

Giving me my sense of pride,

And help me creep closer to the when I,

Can finally leave this place and die,

That’s all it takes,

I know the stakes,

I can’t hear my moans,

I can’t feel the groans,

I feel it within my bones,

The feel like I need go,

And to have my soul be lifted with the windswept snow,

My pain inside is all I know,

And will ever believe,

I cannot conceive,

Another plan to make me think,

To make me see the little kink,

That my plan has hatched in the emptiness,

And the absence of my utter bliss,

The thought of death scares me no more,

And the beating of my heart makes me sore,

The blood is red, and bleeds so sweet,

I wish I could feel it beneath me feet,

And that I have a place I can meet,

Whoever screwed me over big?

And made me suffer,

Made me cry the bitter tears,

Made me shout in yelps and fears,

I can’t hear the shouts or gasps,

I cab only feel the hurt, perhaps,

I fell as if I need to go, be gone, leave, decease,

Whether by a simple death, or by a dare,

I just wish that people just didn’t care,

And that they were never there,

For me when I was down and out,

To make a smile out of my pout,

And to stifle all my pain-filled shouts,

I wish they would just go away,

And yet I want them here anyway,

I wish they wouldn’t shed tears for me,

And fight for something I will never see,

And offer help they cannot give,

And give another chance to live,

They are not God and cannot be,

The one who will succeed in saving me,

The pity was mine and mine I shall take,

The care to conceal it and make me fake,

A happy smile and a happy shell,

And a happy stumble and when I fell,

I will take the care to lick my wounds and cap the cuts,

I will do whatever it takes, I have the guts,

I wish I had the will to say,

That I will live to die another day,

But the knife is sharp, and I cannot hold back,

I will lift the burden off my back,

I will leave this world and enter the next,

I never looked closely to the text,

Of pages that were filled with petty words,

And distracted me from soaring with the birds,

My death makes me believe,

That there is something I have in my possession,

So I will say this as a last confession,

I welcome death, I don’t shun it away,

The day to die will come,

But not today…

-Evanna Jayme - http://evanna3821.bravejournal.com/

As you can see, I didn't write this, Evanna (Catie) did, but it is so relavent that I have decided to put it here. I don't think I could ever really write like this, but it really shows how I feel.